Level 1: Reporting/Responding

Reporting

On 18^th of February 2019, “Persatuan Mahasiswa Sains Komputer (PERSAKA)” has organised its annual event, SUSKOM (Sukan Sekolah Komputeran). This programme was specifically for the participation of students from all the Academic programmes under School of Computing. The purpose of this programme was to give the opportunity for the students to have a get together time between the juniors and the seniors students and for them to blend in well. This programme was well prepared and handled by the PERSAKA committee member as they really made a proper planning for the entire programme that includes student’s participation, sports schedule, and the closing ceremony of the programme. The students were informed about this programme earlier through numerous medium such as posters around the faculty, link blast in WhatsApp group that ads the details and registration, and through the PERSAKA committee members themselves. SUSKOM is a six-days programme that offered variety of sports for the students to participate such as Volleyball, Futsal, Badminton, Netball, “Sukaneka”, Fun-Run and Treasure hunt. In addition, E-Sports are also included in this programme that consist games like FIFA, PUBG, and MOBILE LEGENDS. Each academic programme course (SCSP, SCSJ, SCSB, SCSR) will send their representatives as in group or individuals to participate in one of the sports/E-Sports available and the points will be sorted according to the 4 academic Programmes under School of Computing. I noticed that for every sports/e-sports event there were a group of students that are in charge in terms of technical aspects, scheduling matches and keeping the records of winning and losing group in a game. Students are not limited only to participate in the games but also are open to participate in becoming the crew of the programme. I was involved in this programme as a participant in the E-Sports tournament (FIFA). This programme went joyfully for six days and was ended with closing ceremony at Dewan Kejora located in N28a School of Computing. This ceremony was to wrap up the entire journey of the programme and to announce the standing among the 4 academic programme courses as well as price giving for the winners.

Responding

 As a first-year student in UTM, I am very thrilled with the vibe and the amount of effort put in by the students especially the PERSAKA committee members in making sure this programme to take place. The commitment they put in for the student’s welfare inside and outside the programme is what made me realized of the responsibility that they carried on their shoulder. In addition, as a participant in the programme, the crew members makes sure that each event was well handled and that produced a firm believe in them to guide us through the programme so that we will not be lost. Moving on to the game I participated, FIFA. It took place at Dewan Resak, KTDI. They were 6 groups of 4 that were involved and during the early moment I was feeling a little bit unusual surrounded by the seniors and some of the International students. I took quite some time to adapt to my surroundings and started to blend in and enjoy the moment as it went through. I managed to qualify for the next round of the tournament as the first day of the programme came to an end and the students that qualified for the next round will continue the next day. I felt a little bit confident with myself as I managed to have a game session with one of the seniors in my group and we had a great conversation about the game and the tournament and ever since I did not feel left out or unusual to the crowd anymore. I made It through to the knockout stages and this is where my confidence level drop as I must manage the top players from other group as well which I have not have a conversation with just yet. Through the knockout stages I won on a very small margin and succeeded to reach the final game. Even though I am in the final, but I am hesitating with myself whether I can win or the other way around. Besides, rather than winning individually, I also wanted to win so that I can contribute to my course (SCSP) points in the standings. To be honest that put a little bit pressure on me even though it is just a game. Unfortunately, I let my nerve get the best of me and I came up second in the final losing to a student from course SCSR. However, I am still proud of my achievement in this programme.

Level 2: Relating

After the FIFA tournament ended on the final day of the programme, I was a little bit disappointed with myself not because I did not win but because I did not believe that I can win. That is the reason I lost. I have been facing self-esteem issues and lack of self-confidence for quite some time in my life. I have experienced numerous similar moments like this previously such as in examination, individual presentations and in grouping tasks. For instance, in examination I always have my panic moment and I did not believe that I can answer the questions even though I have studied thoroughly. I have a very low self-confident in me that I keep panicking for no reason and I will feel very down with myself. However, in this situation, I could not handle the pressure even though in just playing games. However, at that moment, I still do not have the ability of handling pressure and be more confident of myself in facing challenges in my life. This same problem has been bothering me and I will always end up on the downside of it such as breakout during examination, panicking if something does not work the way I wanted and will always felt that I am not like other people in doing a lot of things. I realized that this a problem that needed to be fixed as soon as possible as I am going to face more challenges as a University student and more in the future.

Level 3: Reasoning

One of the criteria that I should acquire and grow to face any circumstances is self-confident. As I said earlier, the lack of confident in me was the ultimate reason that I keep having downside moments in my life. I believe that having a high amount of self-confident in myself is the key for me to achieve my goal. I realized that self-confident is not something you can have naturally; in fact, you must earn and grow it by time. As a first step to do so is by looking for a role model that you really looked up to and learn as many as possible from them. Watching someone with high self-confident in dealing with challenges is so inspiring and makes you believe that you are capable to become like them as well. In addition, with the experience they acquired, they also can guide a person like me to develop a more matured way of thinking to be more confident like them as they see a challenge from different perspective as I would do. They understand and observe situation better and are prepared both mentally and physically to face those challenges wisely. Achieving success in one challenge makes you stronger and confident to face the next one and it goes on and will become an attitude that you possessed without realizing it. I believe with these qualities will make me a better person with higher self-confident in facing challenges in my career or personal life.

Therefore, I strongly believe that self-confident is the key for me to overcome the problems I faced in various situations

Level 4: Reconstructing

I have learned that self-confident is one of the most important skill to acquire as an individual in facing challenges. This programme had opened my eyes and made me observed of my attitude in the past and gave me answers of why I always had hard times in numerous situations. I believe that this programme is a turning point for me to overcome my problems and grow my self-confident and make me a stronger person. I am glad that I realized it in my early university days, and I detected my weakness and have the chance to improve it bit by bit as I will face more challenges throughout my degree journey. As a next step, I will start to change my mindset and attitude on becoming a more confident person as time goes by. I will try my best to manage and control my anxiety to face hurdles more wisely like most successful people did. One of the ways to achieve that is to keep myself active in joining programmes/events/competitions organized by UTM or more specifically under School of Computing. I believe by doing this, I will gain more confident and experience in dealing with critical thinking skills occasions. Besides than academic learning, I will also learn on how to reflect myself though extra-curricular activities outside of classroom. With this motivation, I hope that I will be more prepared, well organized, and fully confident to face challenges in my life and become a successful individual.

image of me during prize giving ceremony at Dewan Kejora